I recently celebrated my @#$%&*!!th birthday. (I could tell you the exact age but I’d have to kill you.). As I went through old photos for the obligatory Instagram birthday post – which I highly recommend you check out by the way as it contains some ‘Prabs through the ages’ gems – I got to thinking about the funny side of middle age. (By ‘funny’ I clearly mean ‘pain in the arse’ but let’s not bother with semantics right now.) Some (in my opinion funny) undeniable truths about middle age in fact dawned on me… Such as: I’ve reached that stage in life where I can pull a muscle just brushing my teeth. And where I find almost e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g and e-v-e-r-y-o-n-e so loud that I run about manically turning down anything with a volume button (and praying they’ll invent a remote control with a mute function for humans in my lifetime).
Of course there are some advantages to The Middle Stage which I wrote about when I turned you’ve-got-to-be-kidding-me years old a while back. For example, unlike twenty-something Prabs, I can usually laugh at myself (as you may know if you’ve been following me for a while and remember reading this one). I don’t have the same obsession with body image I had in my twenties and am not hung up over a lot of the things I thought were important back then.
Anyway, the lady doth waffle too much. Let’s get down to business. To mark the prestigious occasion of me reaching that point in life where I’ve ‘choose’ an age to stick to (FYI 36 in my head but reluctantly 41 out loud if I’m actually asked…don’t laugh…ok you’re allowed a bit), I came up with some observations on this middle age malarkey.
These 11 funny and undeniable truths about middle age (well I suppose confessions) really are just lighthearted musings and not meant to be taken too seriously. That said…each and every one of these genuinely applies to me!
I found this out the hard way last Summer. My husband and I were at a restaurant. It was that point in the evening that many will recognise: starters and mains had been consumed, I was toying with the idea of dessert, it was a typical hot balmy Malta summer’s night and we all moved to an outside table for a more relaxed environment and some air. At which point, I er…realised that the gin and tonic (the size of my head) plus several glasses of red I’d had probably weren’t the best idea. Ok, I’m lying: I had NO clue they weren’t the best idea because I was too tipsy to realise. It only became clear I wasn’t totally in possession of all my faculties when I started goofing around with one of our dinner companions, stood up to tell him joke/dance and er…fell backwards OFF the verandah and crashed onto the lower terrace. In front of all the other restaurant clientèle. One of my classier moments. Cue: about five people (in my humiliation, it felt like fifteen) rushing over to help me up. Mortifying.
No explanation needed really… Although I have to say I’ve no idea how one can be both of these things.
If ever there was a lesson in ‘Never judge someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes’, this is one of them. When I was a youngun, I could never understand it when I heard ‘older’ women joking about picking an age and sticking to it. I’ve now walked way more than a mile in their shoes and I totally get it. No judgements here.
I kid you not! Yes I’m clearly living in a cave and need to get out more…preferably with a picnic backpack, ha ha. Seriously, for anyone equally as
sad in love with the great outdoors as me, you might want to check out this understated grey Hap Tim luxury 4 Person Picnic Backpack Hamper or this tan Apollo Walker Picnic Backpack or smaller Andes Picnic Set Rucksack Cool Bag for two people, which even has a chopping board! See? Middle Age!!
I could actually weep over how accurate this is. Let that be all I say on the matter however. You don’t need details.
Not. Even. Joking. Please let me introduce you to the newest addition to our family, the Sage Kitchen Wizz Peel & Dice. Tadaaaa. (Not paid to promote this by the way. Just crazy excited about it!). Seriously, if ANYONE is still in doubt that I’m displaying worrying middle aged tendencies, I’ll be astonished!
Just me then?
Despite walking to school and later university nearly every day of my academic life and happily spending hours exploring cities on foot, I would have been bored rigid if someone had suggested an actual hike in – shock horror – countryside and (even worse) with hardly anyone else in sight. I absolutely lived for the buzz of city life and even though I’ve always been able to occupy myself, preferred the company of others much more. Forest/country walks were only a consideration if I knew there was a fireside drink, quaint teashop or cool cafe at the end of it; and the more people the merrier.
Now stick me on a hill with a flask of tea, myself (alright the kids can come) and scenic views- and I’m deliriously content. Call me antisocial. Or just call me middle aged!
Without doubt one of the most frustrating demoralising aspects of ageing. Some days, I swear my left eyelashes are the only part of me that don’t ache. (I’ve probably gone and jinxed my left eyelashes now haven’t I?)
Beautifully put. Frankly, what more would I add to this?
Last… but not least…
Tis all true, dear reader, tis very true…