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The Speech I Should Have Made For My Husband’s 50th Birthday

by Prabs
Published: Last Updated on

I didn’t do a speech for my husband’s 50th birthday party.  Don’t judge me…the one he delivered on our wedding day was totally improvised (GET IN! I’ve waited a loooong time for the right moment to mention that [cheeky wink]).  But if I had made a speech, it would have gone something like this:

Dear friends

So Hubster has turned 50.  Yep, 50.  Oh my Gawd, FIFTY!!   Thank you, I’m holding up okay.  Your concern is touching.  If you wish to buy me a Mojito or two (or fifty…bloody hell that number again) to help me drown my sorrows, I shan’t stop you.  But this isn’t about me.

I can’t deny, I woke up on his birthday, looked at the man next to me, thought “Holy Crap, I’m married to a 50 year old” and then immediately blurted it out on Facebook.  What can I say?  The sharing was therapeutic.  He might be the one who’s turned 50 but I’m the one having the damned mid-life crisis. 

Why am I having a mid-life crisis? BECAUSE I’M MARRIED TO A 50 YEAR-OLD, THAT’S WHY. Please do keep up!  Ok, about me again…

It was also our kids’ Sports Day that day and erm, I suggested that he take part in the Fathers’ 50m Sprint. Again, what can I say? I thought it was a cool idea for him to run 50m on his 50th.  Um…about that…poor guy…running and sprinting are not the same, especially when you haven’t done any exercise in months…or more importantly haven’t sprinted in about 25 years…or even more importantly you’re 50!

I didn’t fare much better, despite being a runner.  There I was thinking “50m sprint? I’ve got two half marathons and a race trophy to my name, people.  I’ll nail this.” Um…about that….poor misguided woman…running and sprinting are not the same…my thighs still bloody hurt.  But there I go making it about me again.

So let me talk about birthday boy instead.  To this amazing man whom I call hubster, I say:

YOU’RE A ‘TYPICAL BLOKE’. (I love it.)
You have this amazing ability to zone everything out and concentrate – to the point of deafness – when working or watching a football match.  BUT when two women kiss on Greys Anatomy, you suddenly sit bolt upright and swivel your head a full 360 like the kid in Exorcist.  See?  Typical bloke.

Of course, it would be nice if you raised an eyebrow in excitement occasionally and please don’t say “I do when Man U score” or “you react enough for the both of us babe”.

When friends or family need you, you’re there.  Enough said.


Man, I’m absolutely stuffed. I couldn’t possibly eat another thing…for at least another 10 minutes…where are those biscuits you bought by the way?


Actually, why is it called the menopause if only women get it?


It’s lamb… Of course this kid is going to take ages to eat a bit of meat: she chews soup!

are just a few of the (publishable) hubster classics over the years.

However, when M was moaning that she was bored and didn’t know what to play, you probably took things a bit too far with: “Why don’t you just go and sit on your bed and stare at the ceiling?” .

(Mind you, my mum and my sister M.E. are close contenders). I have never met anyone with the resilience under pressure, the mental strength and the sheer mind-boggling drive with which you are blessed. Maybe you were not naturally blessed with it? Maybe you worked at developing all that? Even more impressive in my book.

YOU’RE A MAN’S MAN. Hallelujah!
You need your male buddy time and you jolly well deserve it…and yet you know how to talk to women.  My female friends love you.  Again, LOVE it.

This is a cool thing (mainly):
– You don’t expect anything of others (apart from me laundering your tidy whities and putting them back in the drawer) so you waste very little time being disappointed; I wish I could master this. (The downer is that because you expect so little of others, you don’t think that they may/should expect something of you.)
– You’re forgiving and non judgemental. HOW do you do that?!
– You don’t let yourself get weighed down by the kind of crap that bothers most of us. You just don’t give it energy.
– You don’t follow conventional norms (which can be a real pisser but I’ve learned to live with it).
– You don’t ‘get’ that kids are just kids. I’m guilty of it too. Let’s not have a contest about which one of us is worse. Let’s just let them be kids ok?
– You don’t feel wonder or curiosity in the world around you the same way as me…shall we change that?
Well, I said this bit was mainly cool baby.

There is nothing you won’t do.
Apart from DIY.
But it’s your birthday party and I don’t want to start a fight.

I knew it from really early on. I also knew that (luckily for me) you know when not to be 😉

You know?
Last but not least:


You married me didn’t you?  Very. Clever. Decision.

Oh come on, you didn’t honestly think I would make it all about you, did you?



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Notting Hill Daddy July 27, 2016 - 4:31 pm

Turning 50 is a big deal ! Well done for writing such a beautiful post about your husband. I think, after being married for a while, if you can still see so many good points in your partner, you’re blessed. Mr Prabs is lucky to have you.
Thank you for directing me here, through google. I always enjoy reading your posts.

prabs July 27, 2016 - 8:22 pm

Yay! You got here lol. Glad you enjoyed it mate.

Trista, Domesticated Momster July 20, 2016 - 8:09 pm

Your husband is a lucky fellow to have a wife write an entire post dedicated to him. I can’t say mine would be as nice if I were to write one about my husband. He turns 39 this year. Maybe I’ll start making a list now lol. Just popping over from Instagram :))

prabs July 21, 2016 - 7:49 pm

Well he’s a lucky fellow just being married to me for starters lol. Thanks for reading Hun.

Modern Dad Pages July 21, 2015 - 3:57 pm

Lovely heartfelt post! he’s a lucky man 😉 Thanks for linking on #wineandboobs

prabs July 21, 2015 - 5:35 pm

lol he is isn’t he? 🙂 Thanks for hosting.

Zeyna-MummyOnMyMind July 21, 2015 - 10:02 am

Haha this is so cute! The love for your husband really seeps through your words. #babybrainmondays

prabs July 21, 2015 - 11:53 am

Thank you Zeyna. There are also days when I could strangle him with my bare hands but hey ho.

Harps July 20, 2015 - 9:37 pm

Aww! You big softie! Such a lovely heartfelt post. Your husband sounds similar to mine (except Preetam’s fave toy is a frickin drill – no really, an actual drill, he’s a sucker for DIY!, and replace Grey’s Anatomy with Orange is the new Black lol). I love the part about him being wired differently, same as Preetam. How the f do they do it?! Wishing your husband a very happy 50th! Thanks for linking up #babybrainmonday x

prabs July 21, 2015 - 9:23 am

The drill. PML. Thanks for comment and for hosting #babybrainmonday

Jen @ 4,128 miles July 20, 2015 - 11:29 pm

Too funny! What a beautiful pic too. #babybrainmonday

prabs July 21, 2015 - 9:24 am

Thank you my dear.

K @ Eat.Love.Live July 20, 2015 - 7:45 pm

Awww your wedding picture is fabulous. You two are a beautiful couple. I love your birthday speech, it would have been the perfect mix of being heart felt, funny and informative. The ,most important thing is he knows how you feel. He sounds like quite a guy! K x #babybrainmondays

prabs July 21, 2015 - 9:21 am

What a lovely comment. Thanks K. #babybrainmondays

Alice July 17, 2015 - 8:37 pm

Like Doctomum, I have just become married to a 40 year old man too. (I don’t think I’ve seen her in my house either, for what it’s worth)
It seems to be hitting me a lot harder than it is him. I too feel the need to point out to everyone that I am CONSIDERABLY younger than he is 😉
x Alice

prabs July 17, 2015 - 11:52 pm

lol well sadly I’m only younger than him by 4 years. Dammit Janet. Thanks for reading!

Emma July 17, 2015 - 8:14 pm

Beautiful picture and speach! I was just bullying to other half for turning 30 in two weeks.thanks for linking #snotallaboutyou

prabs July 17, 2015 - 11:53 pm

Did you just say you’re turning 30? Oh. My. Gawd. I may have to stop talking to you. Thanks for reading and for hosting #snotallaboutyou

Melanie Greenhalgh July 17, 2015 - 1:02 pm

A big milestone in many ways. What a lovely post about love, respect and honour. I too am younger and although it has never mattered in the past – boy do I rub it in now as the numbers get bigger. Mel xx

prabs July 17, 2015 - 11:53 pm

Ah thanks Melanie. Yes as the numbers get bigger…. lol

Rebecca U July 17, 2015 - 9:46 am

Ha, I can relate on the whole wedding speech thing 😉 This is a lovely post, nice to have it written down for him. Thanks for linking up #snotallaboutyou

prabs July 17, 2015 - 4:14 pm

Thanks for reading and thanks for hosting.

Angela at Daysinbed July 16, 2015 - 9:50 pm

ha I loved this! it is briliant. I also call my husband the hubster – the mighty hubster lol and i love the way you ended it!
Angela xx

prabs July 17, 2015 - 9:42 am

Awww thanks Angela. Hee me too re the ending.

Philippa - Sounding Like My Mother July 15, 2015 - 11:33 am

This is brilliant! You should have made that speech. Although I have to say, my husband did enjoy telling everyone that his wife was in her 30’s until I turned 40 last year, when “I can’t believe I’m married to a 40 year old” was heard. Sadly, it cuts both ways, this age thing…

prabs July 16, 2015 - 8:46 pm

Thanks for reading. I knoooow I should have done shouldn’t I? 🙁

Rob July 14, 2015 - 10:45 pm

Great speech that you almost made at your husband’s 50th. He sounds like quite the guy and you two are very happy together. I have a big birthday coming up and can only hope my wife says/thinks as many nice things about me that you do about your husband. #wineandboobs

prabs July 15, 2015 - 8:44 am

Oh bless! Thanks Rob.

doctomum July 14, 2015 - 8:02 pm

This is fantastic and I am totally stealing it, subbing in 40 years old and maybe changing a few of the lines for my husband….not against copywrite or anything is it?! I got one of those older dudes too, they are pretty cool. Actually, are you sure we don’t have the same husband?! #wineandboobs

prabs July 14, 2015 - 10:27 pm

Lol hang on while I quickly load up my copyright warning. Glad you loved it. I’m fairly sure you married someone else. I’ve not seen you in my house… Thanks for reading! #wineandboobs

Sam April 18, 2014 - 6:08 pm

You need to get a book deal, agree with Chantal. Love the photo!

prabs April 20, 2014 - 4:42 pm

Oh my goodness. Overwhelmed. Thank you! x

Chantal Omodiagbe April 12, 2014 - 10:13 am

Prabs – you need to find a book deal. Great writing! You have a gentle, yet raw honesty that’s so personable, so engaging. I’m on the couch in fits of laughter. And that wedding photo – my God, you look like Indian royalty. Dreamy pic! Definitely a new follower. Chanty

prabs April 12, 2014 - 10:26 am

Thaaaankkkk youuuuuu! What an amazing thing to say. I really do love my growing band of followers! And yes that pic…funnily enough despite the amazing professional ones we had done, this one was just a two second shot by a friend’s sister who was experimenting with a brand new camera she’d bought that month. She sent it to us beautifully framed after we returned from honeymoon and it still has pride of place on our mantelpiece (and now here on the blog!) all these years later. x

Alex April 12, 2014 - 7:41 am

Ah – you love your man! Lovely words. Well done babe.
What a wonderful wedding photo.

prabs April 12, 2014 - 10:23 am

Oh gosh thank you. I welled up when I saw your comment on my FB page and just now again. Too soppy for my own good. Lovely comment, thank you. We really truly missed you guys on the night by the way. C’est la vie. That’s French for “we’ll party some other time instead”. xx

Manuela April 11, 2014 - 7:05 am

A declaration of love in your very onw way, love it … btw ‘chew soup’?? M would perfectly match with Seb 🙂

prabs April 11, 2014 - 8:00 am

Thanks so much Manuela. Ha ha…”in my own way” eh? And I swear, the same child STILL chews soup years after that comment was made!

Annie J April 11, 2014 - 5:49 am

Ooh wedding picture! That was a great party… *carefully avoids commenting on the 50/younger/non-gentleman minefield*

prabs April 11, 2014 - 8:01 am

It’s so nice to see friends who were at that wedding reading the blog and still in my life. Pretty flipping cool. Ha! “carefully avoids…minefield”…love it!


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