Ten candles.

Oh my goodness, Musical M, how is it possible that you’re now ten?! I remember lying on my hospital bed, staring with wonder at your tiny head. So many thoughts and so many feelings ran through me as I stared at the ceiling, Still numb from that needle before it hit me, I now had life’s greatest responsibility. Baby blues but also tears of joy…that scan was wrong and you weren’t a boy! You were underweight, not properly responding; oh the struggle to feed you and worry over bonding. The following months are wonderful memories; the wishes, the gifts, the flowers, the ceremonies, Proud grandparents and siblings, smiles and affection…but let’s not forget the shock of a c-section. Endless visitors with their congratulations. The first child earns rock star adulation! One thing that was no surprise? My loving husband became a loving dad before my eyes. Many great moments. One of the best: Daddy Cool saying “I love her so much it hurts!” as you slept on his chest. I remember tidying your crib changing the bedding while you smiled as he sang tunes by Otis Redding. Summer 2004 was an unforgettable time; the exhaustion of new motherhood…yet it was sublime. It’s clichéd but it seems like only yesterday when I’d be up all night with you crying and then Spend the entire day holding you in my pyjamas, trying to eat something myself – a daily drama. I’d hold you and rock you and feed you for hours, praying you’d sleep so I could just grab a shower. Endless baby and mama pics but don’t zoom in; my priorities had changed and I’d no time for grooming. Parenting books, car signs with Baby on Board, mums’ coffee mornings…just don’t mention Gina Ford. Sterilisers, muslins, bibs and high chairs, pushchairs and car seats and gates for the stairs, Portable equipment from changing mats to potties; just leaving the house became seriously dotty. Then we said goodbye to the UK and moved to the sun. Hello villa with pool: life in Malta looked fun! Your first steps, the daycare years and I got pregnant with number two…failing to toilet train you before he arrived so I was up to my eyes in poo. You were such a cute toddler, you made everyone drool. Then bam, just like that, you started school. We realised quickly that you’re more arty…and we discovered playdates, sleepovers and endless parties. Now I can’t believe we sent you, aged only three. But you seemed ready…your brother was so little…I needed the break, you see. The years have rolled by and we’ve moved into a new phase. Teletubbies, Pooh Bear…long gone are those days. Goodbye frilly frocks and Hello Kitty toys. Hello One Direction, tennis matches and talk of boys. YouTube, Wii, Monster High and Rihanna; the tweenie stage…too old for Disney Princess but don’t ask for Hannah Montana. Pierced ears, hair styles, cool threads and nail varnish. Can’t we just hang on before your childhood we tarnish? I know I mustn’t control you but please don’t worship Miley Cyrus. And don’t stop reading, playing and creating or you’ll catch the ‘too-much-screen-time-virus’. You’ll have to bear with me as I try to find my feet, parenting your changing character is hard but I know you’re still sweet. It should get easier as kids get older but your STUFF is all over the place. And the forgetting to brush your hair or even wash your face! The number of things you break or lose, it simply drives me crazy. The homework you ‘forget’…are you just too young or just too lazy? I know the eldest usually has it rough. So I should go easier on you but I do find it tough. I guess you could say we have a clash of personality but hey it’s not your fault; you’re just a mini me. An impatient mum, it’s almost outrageous. Why get mad at an angel whose laugh is so contagious? Ten candles later, should I have played more? Should I have been more fun and cared less about chores? I know regrets are pointless yet those are my wishes…but I was so busy having babies and washing the dishes. So ten candles later, here we are. You’re Musical M with a voice that could carry you far. I love that we share a passion for music and words. Keep dreaming. Keep singing. Make sure you are heard. Ten candles later, your life is a ball. With your great spirit and big heart, you deserve to have it all. Making your cake, I think of each year symbolised by these ten candles. Now fetch your dress, do your face and hair and grab your party sandals.

 HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUSICAL M. HERE’S TO THE NEXT TEN!