Oh my goodness, Musical M, how is it possible that you’re now ten?! I remember lying on my hospital bed, staring with wonder at your tiny head. So many thoughts and so many feelings ran through me as I stared at the ceiling, Still numb from that needle before it hit me, I now had life’s greatest responsibility. Baby blues but also tears of joy…that scan was wrong and you weren’t a boy! You were underweight, not properly responding; oh the struggle to feed you and worry over bonding. The following months are wonderful memories; the wishes, the gifts, the flowers, the ceremonies, Proud grandparents and siblings, smiles and affection…but let’s not forget the shock of a c-section. Endless visitors with their congratulations. The first child earns rock star adulation! One thing that was no surprise? My loving husband became a loving dad before my eyes. Many great moments. One of the best: Daddy Cool saying “I love her so much it hurts!” as you slept on his chest. I remember tidying your crib changing the bedding while you smiled as he sang tunes by Otis Redding. Summer 2004 was an unforgettable time; the exhaustion of new motherhood…yet it was sublime. It’s clichéd but it seems like only yesterday when I’d be up all night with you crying and then Spend the entire day holding you in my pyjamas, trying to eat something myself – a daily drama. I’d hold you and rock you and feed you for hours, praying you’d sleep so I could just grab a shower. Endless baby and mama pics but don’t zoom in; my priorities had changed and I’d no time for grooming. Parenting books, car signs with Baby on Board, mums’ coffee mornings…just don’t mention Gina Ford. Sterilisers, muslins, bibs and high chairs, pushchairs and car seats and gates for the stairs, Portable equipment from changing mats to potties; just leaving the house became seriously dotty. Then we said goodbye to the UK and moved to the sun. Hello villa with pool: life in Malta looked fun! Your first steps, the daycare years and I got pregnant with number two…failing to toilet train you before he arrived so I was up to my eyes in poo. You were such a cute toddler, you made everyone drool. Then bam, just like that, you started school. We realised quickly that you’re more arty…and we discovered playdates, sleepovers and endless parties. Now I can’t believe we sent you, aged only three. But you seemed ready…your brother was so little…I needed the break, you see. The years have rolled by and we’ve moved into a new phase. Teletubbies, Pooh Bear…long gone are those days. Goodbye frilly frocks and Hello Kitty toys. Hello One Direction, tennis matches and talk of boys. YouTube, Wii, Monster High and Rihanna; the tweenie stage…too old for Disney Princess but don’t ask for Hannah Montana. Pierced ears, hair styles, cool threads and nail varnish. Can’t we just hang on before your childhood we tarnish? I know I mustn’t control you but please don’t worship Miley Cyrus. And don’t stop reading, playing and creating or you’ll catch the ‘too-much-screen-time-virus’. You’ll have to bear with me as I try to find my feet, parenting your changing character is hard but I know you’re still sweet. It should get easier as kids get older but your STUFF is all over the place. And the forgetting to brush your hair or even wash your face! The number of things you break or lose, it simply drives me crazy. The homework you ‘forget’…are you just too young or just too lazy? I know the eldest usually has it rough. So I should go easier on you but I do find it tough. I guess you could say we have a clash of personality but hey it’s not your fault; you’re just a mini me. An impatient mum, it’s almost outrageous. Why get mad at an angel whose laugh is so contagious? Ten candles later, should I have played more? Should I have been more fun and cared less about chores? I know regrets are pointless yet those are my wishes…but I was so busy having babies and washing the dishes. So ten candles later, here we are. You’re Musical M with a voice that could carry you far. I love that we share a passion for music and words. Keep dreaming. Keep singing. Make sure you are heard. Ten candles later, your life is a ball. With your great spirit and big heart, you deserve to have it all. Making your cake, I think of each year symbolised by these ten candles. Now fetch your dress, do your face and hair and grab your party sandals.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUSICAL M. HERE’S TO THE NEXT TEN!
[…] think the only thing stopping me was the fact that I was trying to hang onto a 14 month-old not-yet-walking Musical M as she wrestled in my arms, miserable from yet another teething cold. I stood there a good long […]
[…] I sat down to write something for your 12th birthday. After all I wrote something for your 10th. That was hard enough; the more I wrote, the more I had to face how I’d just let those […]
Amazing! I got a lump in my throat reading this. “I know regrets are pointless yet those are my wishes…but I was so busy having babies and washing the dishes.” Really got to me. Such a lovely post and I’m sure that your little lady will treasure it when she’s older. Xx
Thank you Dawn. That’s one of my fave bits too.
This is my favourite post I’ve read of yours so far (slowly working my way through!) My eldest is only 5 and I don’t quite know how that happened. M is beautiful.
Thanks Sarah. At the time, whenever I tried reading it out loud (to her) I cried every time at the last verse. It goes by so fast.
This is so lovely – and you don’t look old enough to have an 11 year old xx
Thanks my dear. It’s my impossibly large glasses that do it…
Your post actually made me tear, so beautiful! Happy belated birthday to your now 11 yr old! Thanks for linking up to #happyquacks xx
Yes I actually cried every single time I read it out loud when I got to the end! Thanks for reading and thanks for hosting #happyquacks!
that is such a great poem! Mine turned thirteen and I’m still wondering where all the time went. I still look at his baby book as all his pictures and both smile and cry. My baby is taller than me now and getting taller. They really do grow up fast! Great post! Thanks for sharing!
Aww this is soo sweet! Happy 10th Birthday. Scary how fast it goes huh! Thanks for linking with #wineandboobs
Honestly don’t laugh but I actually CRY every time I read it! And I wrote it!
How sweet- loved it! happy birthday to your always be your baby girl:)
Awww thanks Puja.
Finally got round to reading & sharing your birthday tribute to your daughter (caught up in the mad medley of picking a recommended nursery for my almost 2 year old twins (tiny tears at how fast it goes…) – such a lovely post and I have to say she is your splitting image! I had to look twice at picture! Thanks for the happy reading to cheer a Monday morning :))
Thanks for the lovely comment Mandy. And your kind words got MY Monday off to a good start too!