Home Editors Pick 14 Things Not To Say To Kids…

14 Things Not To Say To Kids…

by Prabs
Published: Last Updated on

 …because there’s just no point!


I sounded off at Musical M last night and said something I’m pretty sure I shouldn’t have said.  Oh if only I could channel my inner Mother Teresa in such moments.  (Problem is I don’t HAVE an inner Mother Teresa to channel.)
After they’d gone to bed, I got to thinking about this apparently never-ending pattern of behaviour where I come out with comments I simply wish I hadn’t, in dealing with my cherubs.  Honestly, sometimes I could bang my head against our crayon-adorned walls in shame because I have a feeling I’ll be paying therapy bills in a few years.

So if you recognise yourself in the list below (pretty please tell me I don’t own the franchise on saying this kind of stuff), here’s hoping these words only cross your mind and not your lips.  (As for me, hopefully one day, I’ll actually practise what I preach. One day…)


For the love of God, why are ALL your clothes on the floor?!

Because it’s the floordrobe. (Boom tish.)



Why can’t you carry your own jacket? Do I look a coat hook?

You have arms don’t you?



Let this be the last time I say this.

Oh Honey…who are you kidding?  You know damn well you will be saying whatever ‘this’ is until the day they leave home or you die, whichever comes first. (Sorry.)



Do I have to do everything for you?




How many times have I told you [x, y, z]?

They take this question at face value and stand there confused and desperately trying to work out how many times you have actually told them. (I swear to God, sometimes…)



I’ll make you laugh the other side of your face.

Go ahead.  I’d love to see you try…and so would your kid who’ll be thinking ‘Awesome! Can you do it in front of my friends…purleeeeeze?’



For real?  How do you not hear me calling your name when your right in front of me?

Show me a parent who has figured this one out.



You just WAIT til your father gets home.

So he can do what? Swing them around in the air, roll around on the rug with them and then hand them over to you to do the bedtime routine while he falls asleep on the sofa?



You’re perfectly capable of making your bed. Who do you think I am? The maid?




Make sure you’ve got everything with you. I’m NOT going back in the house.

Yeah right. You know you’re getting out of that car at least three times (and that’s just to fetch the things that YOU forgot).


How LONG does it take to get your shoes on?

A real f*cking long time. That’s how long.



So you could barely eat 4 mouthfuls of dinner because you weren’t hungry but have room for 2 portions of dessert?

Don’t really need to say anything do I?



How could you have lost a third lunchbox?

About that…remember that time you lost an entire bag of shopping/a baby buggy/€250… No? Just me then.



What on earth are you doing up there? Putting your clothes on or sewing them first?

I’m the only in my house who thinks sarcasm is funny.



Jeez Louise how long does it take to eat dinner?

You know what? The more you ask, the slower they get.



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MomOfTwoLittleGirls March 22, 2017 - 12:51 pm

I say all of these, as well as ‘why are you licking that?’ The shame!

Mackenzie Glanville March 21, 2017 - 3:21 am

what is it with always room for dessert? I have to admit my kids are pretty good at being organised, but still I have tons ay this had me laughing and nodding along! #candidcuddles

prabs March 21, 2017 - 12:19 pm

Amazing how they make room for dessert isn’t it? Thanks for joining #candidcuddles

Heather Keet March 20, 2017 - 10:06 pm

These are all so true and so hilarious! #CandidCuddles

Kelly July 26, 2015 - 3:11 am

Yes, I say most of those too. It’s funny how parents all over the world repeat the same things to their kids. It must come with the job of being a parent 🙂 #FridayFrolics

prabs April 13, 2016 - 7:22 pm

My God HOW did this comment slip through the net? Just goes to show how rubbish I am at the admin side of my blog. Many months later, thanks for your comment!

Carly aka mummy July 24, 2015 - 3:30 pm

Ha ha ha. My two are a bit young for these stock phrases at the moment, but I have found myself saying some of these to teenagers at school. #fridayfrolics

Claire at Life Love and Dirty Dishes July 24, 2015 - 12:19 pm

Guilty on all counts I’m afraid! Fab post. Thanks for linking up to #FridayFrolics

prabs July 24, 2015 - 12:39 pm

You’re human. YAY! Thanks for hosting #fridayfrolics

Mama Zen July 24, 2015 - 8:48 am

Hahaha If I could record myself saying all of the above phrases interspersed with cbeebies I wouldn’t need to talk for the next few hours as that pretty much sums it up. Brilliant. x

prabs July 25, 2015 - 8:45 pm

Yep!! You made me laugh.

Laura @ Life with Baby Kicks June 23, 2015 - 7:56 am

Haha the toddler is only 2 and I’ve said all of these. He has a fantastic perplexed face too 🙂 thanks for linking lovely

prabs June 24, 2015 - 11:14 pm

lol the perplexed face!

Stacey June 19, 2015 - 6:11 pm

Love this! I said ‘Come on frame yourself’ the other day to my three year old. Definitely only my mum used on me. X

prabs June 19, 2015 - 10:21 pm

Lol. Thanks for reading my dear.

Talya June 19, 2015 - 12:23 pm

Love this! Amazing the utter crap that comes out of our mouths! I am currently making a note of the utter crap coming out of mouth to my 2 year old…turning into a bit of a crap heap to be honest! #effitfriday

prabs June 19, 2015 - 3:27 pm

Now that’s gonna be good if I know you!

Annie J December 5, 2013 - 8:02 am

Number 14. Every freaking day. Even the three year old (eats two mouthfuls of dinner and, as you entreat “but you love xyz, it’s your favourite!” responds with the single word query “pudding?”)

Deirdre December 5, 2013 - 5:30 am

So funny Prabs! Bit sad that we all say all of the above lol!

prabs December 5, 2013 - 8:53 pm

Thanks Dee. I know, here we all are laughing away (whilst our kids are probably psychologically damaged). Oops!

Nina December 4, 2013 - 8:09 pm

Lol I use most of those on a daily basis. Normally starting the sentence with “Seriously!…

Pia December 4, 2013 - 7:55 pm

Ooh, my sides hurt from laughing – spot on! Couldn’t have said it better myself 🙂 !!!

prabs December 4, 2013 - 10:46 pm

Thanks Pia! Glad you liked it.


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