Home Funny Ones Exhausted Mothers Epidemic As School Year FINALLY Ends

Exhausted Mothers Epidemic As School Year FINALLY Ends

by Prabs
Published: Last Updated on

A mother of three is being treated for exhaustion as another school year draws to a close. Our Daily Fail undercover reporter (posing as a stressed dad with Man Flu) managed to obtain a copy of the hospital record containing Mrs Prabulous’s stated reasons for seeking help.

Amongst her sins were:
Failing to RSVP to birthday party invites.
Telling her youngest there were no more spaces at an after-school activity because she “couldn’t bear to spend one more minute in the chuffing car to get there”.
Not checking homework folders for two months.
Hardly ever remembering “that blasted library book”.

The petite British Asian mum who lives in a four bedroom house by the sea in Malta (this is the Daily Fail so we love to throw in irrelevant rubbish like that and call it journalism) made another confession.

One of her biggest crimes of the school year was feeling actual relief when her eldest went down with a suspected case of chicken pox, forcing the whole family to miss a school social event.

“I nearly did a jig in the middle of the lounge upon realising that I was off the hook having to make entire trays of tandoori chicken for the British table at the biggest event of the school year. Wrong. Attitude.”

A senior consultant at the clinic that deals mainly in treating Syndrome of The Underachieving Chronically Knackered Yelling (SUCKY) Mother said “This is not an isolated case. We’ve actually seen a sharp rise in this sort of case over the last few weeks. It’s not unusual for stressed out mothers to be admitted complaining of lunch box boredom, school project frustration, PTA exhaustion and utter dread over ‘that stupid new maths long division method’. However, if I’m honest, this is the most severe case we’ve treated so far.


“Mrs Prabulous is not just suffering from run of the mill fatigue. Upon closer analysis, we noticed serious symptoms of general disorganisation and apathy. When interviewed upon her arrival, she admitted she:
– has considered giving her kids a packet of crackers and a jar of nutella between them and “just letting them fight it out in the playground” as she was tired of coming up with lunches that all three would finish.
– was the last parent to pay for end of year teachers’ gifts
– resorted to using her five year-old’s Hello Kitty markers to write the children’s names on clothing as she never got round to ordering name labels. Ever.
– got the school start date wrong once leading her kids to miss the first two days of term.”

Mothers at her children’s school have been shocked by the developments. “We always knew she wasn’t the most organised or involved of mothers but this is a shock” said one who did not wish to be named.

The Daily Fail’s special investigations unit has learned that the clinic was full of mothers repeatedly asking “Is it wine o’f*ckingclock yet?”, clutching crumpled unsigned class trip forms and muttering something about waiting for the final bell on the last day before collapsing at the finish line.


Doctors have identified the condition suffered by Mrs Prabulous. It is called Sheer Relief.

It is often replaced by another disorder 48 hours later: Omg-they’re-home-for-two-months-itis.

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81 comments

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My Petit Canard July 22, 2016 - 12:16 am

Ha, ha! I imagine most mums are feeling like this at the moment. I struggle just to keep with the day to day, and our little one is only in nursery. I’m sure nursery school in September is going to require a whole other level of organisation! I cant say im looking forward to feeling like this at the end of each term and then having the challenge of keeping the little one entertained for 6+ weeks. I guess thats where wine o’clock comes in 😉 Emily #DreamTeam

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Mouse, Moo and Me Too July 21, 2016 - 10:57 pm

This is AMAZING! You’re so clever 🙂 But how big are your kids’ backpacks?! What on earth do they have in there?

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prabs July 21, 2016 - 11:21 pm

Dead bodies. Don’t tell anyone. Oh…wait…

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Mouse Moo Me Too July 21, 2016 - 11:40 pm

Kids are excellent smugglers aren’t they, no-one ever suspects the kids!

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Sarah - threediferentdinners July 21, 2016 - 1:06 pm

Checked the school bag and found a pair of accident pants in a nappy bag….when from??? epic mum fail!
#StayClassyMama

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prabs July 21, 2016 - 1:18 pm

Ha ha sssh your secret’s safe with me.

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Silly Mummy July 21, 2016 - 1:44 am

Haha! Well, it’s better to get school start date wrong & miss the first two days than to get it wrong & leave your kids at school alone for two days, right? Mine aren’t even in school & I already make up crap about why we can’t do activities I don’t want to face!
Thanks so much for linking up to #FridayFrolics. Hope to see you next time!

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prabs July 21, 2016 - 7:49 pm

Good luck…I wish you strength.

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Rhyming with Wine July 18, 2016 - 9:46 pm

Right. So my Miss Tot starts school next September so that gives you a year to please sell up, move back to the UK (Yorkshire this time) and have a 4 year old. I neeeeeed you to be my mum friend at the school gates. I will flounder without you. I cannot even remember the old way to do long division…
Brilliant Prabs! Thanks for linking up to #fartglitter x

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prabs July 18, 2016 - 11:13 pm

Awww bless you. I’ll think about it lol.

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Ellen July 18, 2016 - 2:23 pm

This is sheer genius, I adore you. I think I’m going to be a terrible school mum. All those things to remember and places to be on time, not my forte at all! #fartglitter

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prabs July 18, 2016 - 11:33 pm

Ha ha thanks Ellen, nice to be adored (for erm basically admitting I’m ruddy hopeless!)

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Turning Up in Devon July 18, 2016 - 1:57 pm

Totes hilaire! I have obviously been suffering from an acute attack of SUCKY mum too and was actually last seen under a pile of end of term letters rocking! 5 more days and I’m hanging on by my fingernails #fartglitter

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prabs July 18, 2016 - 11:33 pm

Hanging on by the fingernails. LOL! Love it. Glad you enjoyed.

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Claire at Life Love and Dirty Dishes July 16, 2016 - 2:04 pm

Please do a Christmas version of this one. x Thanks for linking this up to #FridayFrolics

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prabs July 18, 2016 - 11:34 pm

Ha I’ll see what I can do!

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Emma July 16, 2016 - 9:41 am

Popping back again! And still loving it! WHOOP. Although has reminded me that school finished yesterday and I forgot to return the library books. ARGH! Thanks for linking up with #FridayFrolics

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prabs July 18, 2016 - 11:35 pm

Thanks love. One of my personal faves if I’m honest.

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five little doves July 15, 2016 - 8:07 pm

I laughed out loud at this but also felt a little relieved that I wasn’t the only one who makes these mistakes! I got the term dates wrong with my son back in infants, only realised when I got a phone call from the school secretary asking where Lewis had been for the last three days as I thought they started the week after! Mortified!! #fridayfrolics

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prabs July 15, 2016 - 8:15 pm

There are more of ‘us’ than people realise..

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Emma June 13, 2016 - 6:43 pm

Oh this is brilliant, just read it for the first time and prompty remembered that I need to RSVP to a birthday invite. I have also moved my flights to Brit Mums so that I can go to the evening shindig and I have just realised that this this means I will miss sports day. Yep, I should be in the Daily Fail :-/

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prabs June 13, 2016 - 10:27 pm

Ooh fab news about BML! Erm I mean oh what a shame re sports day.

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Sherry August 4, 2015 - 8:01 pm

So glad it’s not just me!

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prabs August 7, 2015 - 12:47 pm

Hee hee no!

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Helena Clarke August 4, 2015 - 8:20 pm

I love this! And I am totally with you in the epic fail department! and that new long division method??! WTF?!!

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prabs August 4, 2015 - 9:06 pm

lol cheers Helena!

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Mamavsteacher August 4, 2015 - 8:20 pm

Amazing! I can’t believe you got the term dates wrong – I actually laughed aloud!

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prabs August 4, 2015 - 9:06 pm

I’m hopeless. I surpassed myself.

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Mama Zen July 22, 2015 - 7:00 pm

I LOVE this! haha too funny!! Third time I have read it. 🙂

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prabs July 22, 2015 - 11:09 pm

Wow third time…fab!

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Random Musings June 22, 2015 - 12:56 am

Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes (Sorry for the rubbish comment, but I have left a real one above 🙂 )
Debbie
http://www.myrandommusings.blogspot.com

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Claire @ life love and dirty dishes June 20, 2015 - 7:43 pm

Made me giggle second time reading too 🙂 Thanks for linking up to #FridayFrolics

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prabs June 24, 2015 - 11:29 pm

Ha it’s one of my faves lol. Glad you liked it again.

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Jen June 19, 2015 - 12:53 pm

So funny – love the aside “this is the Daily Fail remember…we love to throw in totally irrelevant shit like that and pretend it’s real journalism” – spot on! Thanks so much for sharing on #effitfriday !

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prabs June 19, 2015 - 3:26 pm

I was just thinking I love that bit too (modesty is so overrated). I love that you loved it.

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Amy @ Mum's the Law June 19, 2015 - 11:23 am

I’m a first time mum-to-be and frankly, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry about the thought of this now being my life. It sounds like hell, but this… kind of makes it sound worth it in the end, somehow. I’m certainly going to get ready to be on the front pages of the Daily Fail in the very near future! x
#effitfriday

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prabs June 19, 2015 - 3:28 pm

All I can say is good luck!

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Tania June 17, 2015 - 7:50 pm

I loved this post. I love the newspaper report styling, so creative! You are also not the only one who feels this way. As a parent who has ADHD I can attest to having many of the same issues. Trying to keep up on deadlines and events and paying for field trips takes it toll. As excited as I am that the school term is nearly done, I may too start suffering from Omg-They’re-Home-For-Two-Months itis as well! 🙂 #wineandboobs

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prabs June 17, 2015 - 9:17 pm

Thanks Tania! ADHD is no laughing matter so I sympathise with what you say. Thanks for reading!

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martyn June 17, 2015 - 1:40 pm

Haha love this! I’m a mix as being home schoolers we don’t get the events of school situations that fill us with dread. Although the constant going brings exhaustion! Thanks for linking up with us on the #bigfatlinky hope to see you there this week

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prabs June 17, 2015 - 5:37 pm

Thanks so much Martyn!

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Gemma Capocci June 17, 2015 - 2:30 pm

LOVE THIS! Whilst I am yet to suffer the school routine, I do manage to maintain a series of EPIC fails on a daily basis when it comes to feeding, nap times, nappy changing and all other important elements of parenting a baby and toddler. A brilliant post. Looking forward to reading more x

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prabs June 17, 2015 - 5:36 pm

Thanks Gemma! Was a labour of love to be sure.

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Mrs Tubbs June 17, 2015 - 11:28 am

I love it! And appear to be living it … #wineandboobs

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prabs June 17, 2015 - 9:17 pm

lol ‘appear’ to be living it. Thanks for reading.

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Chantal Omodiagbe June 17, 2015 - 6:54 am

Oh Prabs. You are Mrs. Devine! Damn Mr. Man Flu. He’ll never understand the intensity we mums feel. You are sensationally comical!

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prabs June 17, 2015 - 5:43 pm

Thank you soooo much!

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morna June 16, 2015 - 7:41 pm

Amazing post! I think I might have this condition too. I dread school events – sometimes I pretend I can’t get out of work when really I could, I just can’t face spending any more time at the school being judged by all the other parents #wineandboobs

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prabs June 16, 2015 - 10:08 pm

I love your honesty. Thanks for reading!

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Trista, Domesticated Momster June 16, 2015 - 5:10 pm

What a well thought out post. Love it! I think all parents could be in some sort of headlines…and then there’s the ones on the “real” headlines that shouldn’t even have had children. Thanks for sharing your humor with #momsterslink. Hope to see you again this week!

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prabs June 16, 2015 - 10:44 pm

glad you liked it! Thanks for reading.

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Silly Mummy June 16, 2015 - 6:03 pm

This is great! At least it’s only failing to RSVP to birthday party invites, & not – shock horror – the mortal sin of RSVPing & then not taking your child! #wineandboobs

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prabs June 16, 2015 - 10:44 pm

lol mortal sin! Try beating not RSVP’ing and turning up! V common in Malta.

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Kelly June 16, 2015 - 2:39 am

I just love the term S.U.C.K.Y. Mother!! You sound tired, but very honest 🙂 #bigfatlinky

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prabs June 16, 2015 - 1:07 pm

And my husband thought that was me trying too hard. Pah! What do men know?

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Random Musings June 15, 2015 - 12:12 pm

I love the journalistic styling in this post. Probably the most honest piece of journalism I’ve read in years lol #bigfatlinky
Debbie
http://www.myrandommusings.blogspot.com

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prabs June 15, 2015 - 10:23 pm

lol it IS honest isn’t it? Ahem.

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Random Musings July 20, 2015 - 1:25 pm

Still love this post, and still had a good giggle re-reading it!
Thank you for linking to #AnythingGoes
Debbie
http://www.myrandommusings.blogspot.com

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prabs July 21, 2015 - 9:20 am

Thanks Debs. Yes I realised it hadn’t quite down the ’rounds’ properly re the linkies.

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Ali June 14, 2015 - 8:36 pm

Reading folder! B******$s! Totally forgot they have them. I wondered what that big crumpled mess at the bottom of his bag was.

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prabs June 15, 2015 - 10:23 pm

I’m so glad it’s not just me.

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John Adams June 14, 2015 - 6:06 am

As a stay at home dad, I have to say that SUCKY Father syndrome also exists. The only thing is, six weeks of having the kids at home is much more demanding than term time. Well, to me it is! Good luck with the school holidays. #BugFatLinky

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prabs June 14, 2015 - 7:38 am

lol I wish you the best of luck! Thanks for reading.

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Claire June 14, 2015 - 6:12 am

Absolutely hilarious! I only managed to turn in about 40% of my son’s reading logs this year. Poor child. No homework offense was ever his own fault – it was his disorganized mother’

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prabs June 14, 2015 - 7:39 am

So glad it’s not just me! Let’s be disorganised together then.

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Laura @ Life with Baby Kicks1 June 13, 2015 - 3:27 pm

Love this! I’m dreading the end of nursery though… home for the summer yikes!

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prabs June 14, 2015 - 7:37 am

Hang in there sister!

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jeremy@thirstydaddy June 13, 2015 - 1:32 pm

shared this on my FB page. Very funny

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prabs June 13, 2015 - 3:15 pm

Oh so glad!

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Kirsten Toyne June 13, 2015 - 11:29 am

Ooops D- for me. #bigfatlinky

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Kirsten Toyne June 13, 2015 - 11:28 am

Ahh the joys of school!!! Who knew there was so much involves (I say after the last 1 1/2 hrs of weekend has been spent on homework)

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Claire @ life love and dirty dishes June 13, 2015 - 10:41 am

Love it. Come join my linky too #FridayFrolis for funny parenting posts 🙂 x

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prabs June 13, 2015 - 3:13 pm

Oh I’m so glad you read it Claire! Your linky…it’s on my list 😉 Thanks for stopping by.

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Emma's Mamma June 13, 2015 - 10:03 am

Hilarious post! I can only imagine the stress of hiving three kids – I find one hard enough. And luckily she’s not in school yet! #bigfatlinky

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Talya June 13, 2015 - 9:57 am

Love this especially the newspaper snippet made me have a good chuckle! #BigFatLinky

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Mama, My Kid Doesn't Poop Rainbows June 13, 2015 - 12:11 am

Haha, I hear that. My wife and I are already asking ourselves ‘What’s the earliest we can send him to school?’
#momsterslink

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prabs June 13, 2015 - 3:14 pm

OMG really? You have all this to contend with! Thanks for stopping by.

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Emma June 12, 2015 - 10:04 pm

You have lost it ha! Great post an honour to have it on #snotallaboutyou

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prabs June 12, 2015 - 11:05 pm

lol it’s a bit horrifying really! Thanks. Honour’s all mine #snotallaboutyou

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